Learn why people trust wikiHow. Categories Relationships Dating Online Dating How to Get to Know Someone Through Online Dating. Download Article Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE. Ugliest animal? Ask a Question. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and Aly Rusciano Last Updated: June 16, References. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U. and international copyright laws.

This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. Spice up "How are you? This is a great question to ask when you first start talking to someone online because it can start a lively discussion about their hobbies, interests, and friends. Their answer can also help you know if you have similar lifestyles.

Stay clear of "yes" or "no" questions to get to know them better. This way they have to answer with more than one word! Learn more about their favorite activities and hobbies by letting them tell you about them. Tell me about that. If they sexualize an answer to your question and it makes you feel comfortable, try talking to someone else as their idea of online dating might be different from yours.

This common question is a sure way to get to know them. Ask them open-ended questions about their favorite things like movies, food, music, and books. These types of questions are a great way to see if you have common interests. Learn a bit about their interests and home life with this question. Is their go-to show full of action-packed adventure or reality drama? This is a great way to see if you have common interests and lifestyles.

How they talk about their loved ones can tell you a lot about them. The beauty of online dating is you can go at your own pace, getting comfortable with someone before meeting IRL. So, inquire about their family, pets, friends, and life in general to see if you have the same values. Are they yours? Get to know them by instigating some fun banter. Propose two questions to your online date and see how they respond. This is a great way to get an idea of their opinions.

Worst food? Least favorite plant? Worst fashion choice? This question can tell you a lot about their personality. If they cherish a pair of running sneakers their mom got them, chances are they love running.

Get creative with "What do you do? Get to know a little about their past romances before meeting IRL. This type of question might come up on an in-person date, so why wait to ask? By asking now, before things get too serious, you can get an honest response without having to worry about your reaction. Plus, you can be honest in return without worrying about "ruining" anything. You can also use their answers to springboard to another topic really organically.

For example, if they say one of their sisters plays softball, you could continue asking about their sister or you could ask them if they play any sports. Make sure you're both on the same page before you get too involved. If you're looking for a long-term romantic relationship, let the person know as soon as possible after you start talking.

If the other person is more interested in something casual, it might be better to let them move on than to meet up with them. Some people say they're only interested in something casual because they don't want to scare others off. But good relationships are founded on open and honest communication, so it's best to be open from the beginning about what you want.

Most people text or chat off the dating site before meeting. Exchanging numbers so you can text directly or using another messaging app might feel as though you've progressed in your relationship. Essentially, you like and trust this person at least enough to give them your phone number.

People who are demanding or controlling online might be even worse in person. Even after you start talking to someone online, remind yourself that they're still a stranger to you.

As much as you might think you know them, anyone can say anything they want online. Be wary if you notice any of the following: [7] X Research source They contradict themselves or change their story several times. At best, this means they're lying to you. If they can't be honest with you before you even meet in person, what does that say for the future? You can't verify much, if any, information about them. It's unlikely that someone you meet online has no digital footprint.

If you can't find them anywhere else online, they could be using a false identity to try to scam you or hurt you. They seem too good to be true.

Someone who seems like they agree with everything you say and check every box on your "ideal significant other" checklist might be hiding something. Nobody's perfect, and while they might just be trying to impress you, they might also be trying to lure you into an abusive relationship.

They start rattling off a checklist of traits they expect in a future partner. Everyone has their preferences, but a long list of demands could mean that they're controlling or will try to change you. Use their social media to learn more about who they are. If the person uses their real name on the dating app or site where you met them, a quick online search should pull up their social media accounts as well.

Otherwise, you might ask them if they'd be willing to connect with you on social media. They're also entitled to protect their privacy. If you do gain access to their social media, check out their posts and the comments and likes.

Do they seem to have several friends who know them in real life and comment regularly? That typically indicates that they're a real person with a normal social life. Click through their friends as well.

Even if you can't see much of these people's accounts, you should be able to get a sense of the person's different social circles. For example, they might have some friends they went to school with and some others that they work with. In addition to confirming that you're talking to a real person, you can also use their social media to find out a little more about their likes and dislikes, background, hobbies, and interests.

All of this gives you more stuff to talk to them about. A video call lets you observe the person's body language and demeanor. Through a video call, you get a lot more information about someone than just what they're saying. It also gives you a chance to see the person live and confirm that they're the same person shown in their profile pictures. You can introduce more humor because the other person can see you and hear your tone of voice. After a video call, you'll also have a better idea of how to read the person's texts to you.

Because you know how they generally talk, you can understand more about their tone and how to take their messages. It can help you decide if you want to meet them in person or not. Wear clean, casual clothes that fit you well. When you're meeting someone for the first time, the way you dress tells the person how much you care about the meeting. If you put some effort into your appearance, it shows that this date is important to you. For example, if you're a masculine-presenting person, you might wear well-fitting dark-wash jeans and a pressed button-up shirt.

If you're a feminine-presenting person, a casual skirt or dress is always a good option. Choose something comfortable that you can easily move around in without worrying about a "wardrobe malfunction," especially if you have something more active planned for your first date. Keeping the meeting short and sweet takes some pressure off. Generally, plan something that won't take more than an hour.

More open-ended excursions can get awkward, especially if sparks don't fly as you thought they would. A short date is also safer because you have an easy out if things start to go south. Stick to the time limit for the first meeting to set your boundaries. If you want to continue to see the person, make plans to meet up again instead of extending your initial meeting.

You'll end on a high note and look forward to seeing each other again. Even a basic, rather open-ended date like meeting up for coffee can be brief if you tell the other person from the outset that you have something to do at a specific time. For example, if you meet on your lunch break, that means you have to go back to work. Go for a walk rather than just grabbing coffee. While you of course need to chat enough to know if you like the person, Hayley says to avoid messaging too much before meeting up.

So, seeing how easily you get on and how well you communicate is more important than having someone meet a list of criteria," Hayley adds. Don't completely rule out meeting somebody after two or three days of messaging, says Hayley, but she does suggest avoiding extremely last-minute dates.

Hayley also recommends being wary of somebody who is very insistent about meeting up quickly, or wants to meet up multiple times in the first week, as it's a sign they're rushing into things. An easy, subtle way to give someone your number is to say you're hanging out with friends or that you don't use the app very much, but offer them your number instead, suggests Hayley.

This gives the person an indicator that you're interested in taking things further, and it also means that you can chat over the phone to see how you get on before meeting up.

When it comes to first dates, if you've already met the person in real life then maybe give it a good couple of hours for a date, says Hayley. But if you've met them on an app then try a micro-date instead, which could be an hour to an hour and a half.

If you want to avoid just drinks or coffee, then you could meet for coffee and a walk, which can make conversation flow more easily.

Hayley also suggests trying an activity date, like mini golf, an exercise class or a food market - something that you would enjoy anyway so even if you're not feeling the date, at least you don't feel like you've wasted your time.

When meeting up with anybody for the first time on a date , whether they're from an app or elsewhere, make sure you meet up in a public place, and always tell a friend where, when and who you're meeting with. You can even share your location with a friend, or have a contingency plan for leaving the situation. Like this article? Sign up to our newsletter to get more articles like this delivered straight to your inbox.

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Last Updated: May 28, References. This article was written by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Jennifer Mueller, JD. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 31, times.

You've met someone online that you think you might like, but you don't want to rush it. You know you should get to know them online before you meet them in person, but how long is too long? Never fear—we here at wikiHow have found studies that show how long you should wait before you meet someone in person that you met online. Beyond that, we'll show you how to get the most out of your online relationship before you take it live and how to make that transition from online to offline.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating and life coach, Lisa Shield. Check out the full interview here. Log in Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue.

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Learn why people trust wikiHow. Categories Relationships Dating Online Dating How Long Should You Wait to Meet Someone You Met Online? Download Article Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE.

Ask a Question. Related Articles. Written by Lisa Shield Edited by Jennifer Mueller, JD Last Updated: May 28, References. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U. and international copyright laws. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. Three weeks is the sweet spot for switching from online to offline.

Studies show you have the best chances of happiness if you talk to someone online for about 3 weeks before you meet in person. Wait any longer, and reality might not match your expectations, leading to disappointment.

Getting only this information can lead you to form an idealistic impression of the person in your mind. The longer you talk to that person online, the stronger that impression becomes. If you and the other person meet when your impression is still fluid, you can adjust your idea of them more easily. At the same time, you know enough about them that the first time meeting them doesn't feel like meeting a complete stranger. There's no reason to wait if you really click with someone.

It's absolutely possible if not common that you'll meet someone online and instantly feel a strong connection. You both feel the same way and want to meet right away. Typically, you'll find you have a lot in common pretty quickly and feel like you're both on the same wavelength. Deciding to move your relationship offline within a few days of meeting is more common if you find that the two of you have friends in common or run in some of the same circles.

For example, you might say, "I can't believe we haven't just run into each other before! If the feeling's mutual, you'll know, but being pressured into an early meeting is a red flag.

You learn more about someone if you get them talking. Closed questions that can be answered "yes" or "no" don't really tell you much about someone or give you any way to advance the conversation.

Instead, encourage the other person to open up and share stories about their life. For example, you might reference something in their profile directly and ask them about it: "I see that you enjoy running. Were you in the 5k here last week? For example, you might say, "I know that family is important to you.

Tell me about one of your favorite experiences with your family. Dig into one topic rather than bouncing between subjects. Ask the person questions, then ask follow-up questions based on their answers. This allows you to get to know them on a deeper level. For example, suppose you ask the person if they have any siblings, and they say they have 2 sisters. From there, you might ask them about their sisters, how old they are, what kind of relationship they had when they were kids, if they're close now, and how often they see each other.

You can also use their answers to springboard to another topic really organically. For example, if they say one of their sisters plays softball, you could continue asking about their sister or you could ask them if they play any sports. Make sure you're both on the same page before you get too involved. If you're looking for a long-term romantic relationship, let the person know as soon as possible after you start talking.

If the other person is more interested in something casual, it might be better to let them move on than to meet up with them. Some people say they're only interested in something casual because they don't want to scare others off. But good relationships are founded on open and honest communication, so it's best to be open from the beginning about what you want.

Most people text or chat off the dating site before meeting. Exchanging numbers so you can text directly or using another messaging app might feel as though you've progressed in your relationship. Essentially, you like and trust this person at least enough to give them your phone number.

People who are demanding or controlling online might be even worse in person. Even after you start talking to someone online, remind yourself that they're still a stranger to you. As much as you might think you know them, anyone can say anything they want online. Be wary if you notice any of the following: [7] X Research source They contradict themselves or change their story several times.

At best, this means they're lying to you. If they can't be honest with you before you even meet in person, what does that say for the future? You can't verify much, if any, information about them.

It's unlikely that someone you meet online has no digital footprint. If you can't find them anywhere else online, they could be using a false identity to try to scam you or hurt you. They seem too good to be true. Someone who seems like they agree with everything you say and check every box on your "ideal significant other" checklist might be hiding something. Nobody's perfect, and while they might just be trying to impress you, they might also be trying to lure you into an abusive relationship.

Hobbies and Crafts Crafts Drawing Games. If they cherish a pair of running sneakers their mom got them, chances are they love running. One to two weeks is the optimum about of time , according to Hayley, as it gives you time to get to know them, but not too much time that you overthink or the spark fizzles. All rights reserved. You've met someone online that you think you might like, but you don't want to rush it.

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